ED:
Progressive presents Driver's Ed with Ed Helms
EMPLOYEE:
Congratulations Miss Ruiz, you passed. Please drive carefully.
SUE:
I will.
SUE:
Why is there a boy band thing happening?
ED:
Don't overthink it.
ED:
Girl, you passed your driver's test
You demonstrated you could parallel park it
The way you navigated those cones — they were so impressed
Say, "Goodbye," to that learner's permit
If I were your passenger,
I'd sing this line
Which you will find will reoccur
Girl, you drive me safely!
Those hours practicing with mom weren't in vain
Girl, you drive me safely!
You're conscientious when you're changing those lanes
You drive me safely!
Girl, you drive me safely!
Kick it into gear, girl
Don't hit that deer, girl
Drive safe and lower insurance rates may appear, girl
What the heck is Ed Helms doing in a boy band, girl?
It's to help you understand, girl
Strange but true:
I never knew
That every five to eight seconds you should check the rearview
Girl, you drive me safely!
You're conscientious when you're changing those lanes
Don't matter if we're going near or far:
Just be the super-duper cautious driver I know that you are
You drive me safely!
Girl, you drive me safely!
SUE:
Wow. That was…something.
ED:
I know, right?
SUE:
I can still see you.
ED:
No, you can't!